Planning with Your Fiancé: 3 Pitfalls to Avoid
You meet, you fall in love, and he pops the question. Let’s keep you two smooth sailing into your future while avoiding these three pitfalls:1. Going too fast. That’s right – your mind is racing, friends are calling, family members are reaching out, and it’s knocked you into high gear. The thing is, you need to intentionally down shift back to normal speed. You know, the speed you were at when you two fell in love, when you committed to each other. Today, before you start talking to him, reach out and touch him. Hold him and take some deep breaths. Then experiment with NOT talking about the wedding for 15 minutes. Look him in the eyes. Listen to him. Ask him questions about his day. I promise that a dedicated effort to connect and slow yourself down with him will result in much easier conversations about the wedding when you dive back in.
2. Speaking mumbo-jumbo. When you do talk to your fiancé about all the upcoming details, ideas, and possibilities, break – it – down. Take your time, and go slow. Imagine you’re describing the concepts and ideas to someone who has NO idea what a wedding is. This allows you to accurately depict what you’re envisioning (thus preventing miscommunication) while placing value on all your plans. So, instead of bursting through the door and talking about RSVP cards and floral arrangements and lighting, and then becoming frustrated when he has 0 investment or comprehension of what you’re saying – go slow. Go gently. And break – it – down.
3. Forgetting about the journey. Despite all the possible stressors – people, finances, details, etc. – the fact is – you are getting married because you enjoy being with this person. You love their quirks. You admire who they are. You are excited to journey through life together. And this, this right here, is part of that journey. Your relationship doesn’t take a break between engagement and wedding. If you’re like any bride out there, you want to enjoy all the steps along the way. Don’t save all the joyous moments for the wedding day, because this journey feeds your relationship too. Carve out time to go to the movies, to go on a walk, to laugh together, to take the pressure off of a future date and to meet each other in the moments all along the way.